God's Whispers

I knew the meeting for the Congo vision trip was the following week and I had already decided that I wasn't going to go.  Of course, it sounded like an amazing trip and my heart was already tied to these kids in a way I hadn't expected through the Covenant Kids Congo, but I'm a mom of 3 little ones and there was no way I was going pull off being gone for 11 days.  So the following week as I sat in the sanctuary I had that first of many quiet nudges.  I leaned over and told my husband that I think I am supposed to stay for the meeting.  And I did.

The next 4 weeks had a couple more informational meetings, the paper work was handed out and expected back by March 1 and I had a big decision to make.   My fears were whispering to me constantly...  sickness, the instability of this country, flying on planes that the State Department was telling us not to,  the conditions we will be exposed to and the small and large critters that will be sharing my living space.  These fears are all real and overwhelming to me at times. Every time I thought about the Congo I cried.  God whispered to me Psalm 91. "Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  This I declare about the Lord:  He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God and I trust him."

 Those fears were not God's voice.  2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self discipline.”  I know that God does not want me to make a decision based alone on my fears so I decided to remain in His shadow to find the confidence to say yes.  I prayed a lot, I was in scripture constantly and finally I fasted.  I was desperately seeking that loud booming voice from heaven that would tell me to stay in the safety of my home.  Instead he whispered the words "be obedient".  This trip was not about sacrificing my time, energy and safety.  This was about being obedient to His call to go to the Congo.  This is when I knew the answer was yes.  Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will keep in perfect peace, all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!  Trust in the Lord always for The Lord God is the eternal rock."

Although, the booming voice from heaven that I had hoped for would have made the decision a lot easier and maybe faster, I realize now that those whispers are one of the most beautiful aspects of our relationship with a personal Savior.  He cares enough about me to send whispers of hope, security, and love.  And I am doing my very best to show my love in return through my obedience and trust.